In yer dreams!!

Wayne put up a sterling effort doing one late night after another rattling his bucket and shaking his arse. He went with the wear red theme by having his face tinted orange like a sunbed tanorexic. Here he is wearing a Get It On T-shirt while getting it off...

Thru the Arch WAD 07 (90), originally uploaded by Kelteek.

He had great help from Neil Dunning and Gareth Theobald as well as the lovely Alex. I have to say I was as bog useless as ever. “Shake a bucket, who me, dear? Do I look like someone who could carry a bucket?” If the public and small change are involved, I expect to wear white gloves, a hat the shape and colour of a Chrysanthemum and be distributing Maundy money. Like the Queen I never carry money (well not by the bucket load!)

Maj’ figures a lot in my dreams, you know. I once dreamt I was in Woolworths and the pick’n’mix was shrouded in gold foil banners. Behind them was the Queen choosing a Peppermint Cream and Raspberry Ruffle. She was stuffing them directly into her voluminous handbag and said I could put my selection in there too, as no-one ever checked her bags, and they knew she never carried money. We were then standing on the down escalator and she confided that as they always opened stores just for her, she often shoplifted just for thrills!

I also dreamt that I was going out with Prince Edward – we were having an intimate cup of tea in a cafe in Carmarthen when his mum sent a helicopter to get him out of my clutches. Lucky escape for me, I says!

So who features in your dreams... let me know at fathobbit@ntlworld.com