This began as a tale of two gay men, a cat and an octogenarian. It's not a sitcom but I'm not entirely sure it's real life. As a couple we realised we had a choice: either write about life with the grumpy old dwarf and try to see the funny side or bump him off and put him in the skip outside next door. Since that time we have moved on ... 7 years later I came back to update things! So now there are two men, two dogs and a bungalow in Barrybados.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Step back in time

I am in a rush as I madly decided to meet my Irish relatives at Cardiff station and take the train to Milford Haven. I have two hours so only pack the essentials – laptop, camera, mobile phone and credit cards. Clothes and toiletries can follow with Richard tomorrow. (my friend Olwen once said that If I was travelling I would need a couple of pallbearers to carry all my stuff - she meant Sherpas but given I am on my way to a funeral she may be right!)

3 hours, no buffet but a little old man serving tea from a trolley– it’s just like being home with Jack. The trolley-dolly, last seen serving afternoon tea on Stephenson’s Rocket, must be seventy if he’s a day but perhaps he’ll get younger as we head west and the years roll back to 1947. Did you know West Wales is in a different time zone to the rest of Britain? Colleagues say that accounts for my slightly old-fashioned prose style and the use of words like ‘hamper’ and ‘hinder’. I blame it on too much Miss Marple.

The journey is made worse by a slightly drunk, older gay type – you know, all leaning forward conspiratorially and patting the knee while making recommendations for day trips to Tenby for ice-cream. People seem to believe Northern Ireland is all inner-city bombscapes and would be surprised to learn it has lovely beaches … and yes, ice-cream. No-one mentions we are on our way to a funeral but then with all the laughing and storytelling you’d never know.

By 9pm we reach Milford. It’s shut, or at least appears to be closed for repairs.

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