Tapped

Daddy Shortlegs usually only relinquishes the remote control to take up his position as rear gunner on the taps. He has become fixated by washing up or simply being at the sink, so much so that the builders have asked if we should put a tap in his room – no water – just a tap like one of those fake steering wheels one gives a kid. ‘He loves that tap’ the builder says.

I am dreading the kitchen being refitted tomorrow as he will undoubtedly get in the way. He can make a bowl of washing up last an hour and a half - how he will feel about the dishwasher is unknown. He gets through lakes of Milton, scrubbing cups with a toothbrush to remove any trace of stain - or glaze! We have ordered a stainless steel Belfast sink - perhaps he can have a bath if he is never reconciled with the shower controls. He isn't very big after all.