On Thursday it was London and back: knackering! The journey up was reasonably good as I was sitting facing a lovely looking man and listening to my iPod. However, the journey back consisted of me trying not to listen to two students sitting opposite me, both discussing their life via mobile phone. The first was an overly enthusiastic bunny who described his trip abroad to friends (and the entire carriage) including “hysterical” jokes about camel drivers called Ahmed with business cards and the joys of haggling. At least he was happy - perhaps it Seroxat. He piled bags on to the seat next to his but soon had to move them as the train filled more and more.
The second was doing a fine impression of a miserable hippy chick who rolled her eyes as she complained to her phone. They rearranged their belongings incessantly – why do students have to carry so much crap with them. They block the aisle which is already full as too many people are travelling on each train. The tough-looking tanned bloke in a tracksuit opposite sat silently flicking through a discarded Gratzia – very macho. Perhaps the tan was too even and the trackie too carefully matched his eyes.
I got in at 9pm and could only stay awake for Big Brother and slope off to bed. Richard is also knackered as Daddy Shortlegs has been unable to get his lights to work. Oh, and his TV isn’t working… again. Richard put all the plugs back in the sockets. Daddy swears he never removed them: it’s either a poltergeist or Alzheimer’s?
Richard: “Of course, it's not working, you’ve turned the cable box off!”
Daddy: “No I haven’t! I don’t know how to – so I have not!”
Richard: “You have! You press this button in the corner of the box”
Daddy: “I haven’t! I didn’t even know there was a button!”
Richard: “Well how come the whole box is dusty except that one spot around the button then!”
Cue furious muttering from Daddy while waiting for the FX channel to spring into life. He may not have all his buttons done up!
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